| iwillseeyouinthenextlife |
[Sep. 16th, 2008|11:05 pm] |
just a coincidence
why don't i have premonitions that are actually useful??
i feel things which i cannot control or explain
(it's not like the movies
they fed us on little white lies
i can't even recognize you) |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 2nd, 2008|09:17 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | the red moon - the walkmen | ] |
im a little proud of myself//one hand pats the back while the other seeks out reasons to be guilty
The red moon is rising behind you
The ocean is pounding away
I held up a light to the smoke
But the wind blows, blows it away
And the night is cold
And the clouds go by
Tomorrow morning
I hope to be home by your side
The riptide is pulling me under
I’m drifting, drifting away
Tomorrow the sun will be brighter
The water will rise and wash us away
The stars are cold
And the air is bright
And I see you now
And you shine like the steel on my knife
The darkness is wrapped all around me tonight
I miss you
I miss you
There’s no one else
I do
I do
this came at the right time |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 22nd, 2008|01:34 am] |
what the hell
every guy from brooklyn IS THE SAME.
or maybe its just
EVERY GUY. IS. THE. SAME.
period. end of sentence.
(maybe thats why the one i've met thats not i am completely clueless about and i just stand awkwardly waving at him watching him look at me like a kid at the circus. on antibiotics.) |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 21st, 2008|10:37 pm] |
i'm so lucky to have the fattest guy in the world living above me. he must be the fattest guy!
the weirdest sounds come out of this man's apartment i swear to god
at 2am when i have an impossibly early class the following morning (i can't afford to be late to this class, i've already missed two tests somehow) he is wide awake vacuuming. the vacuum makes all the normal sounds of sucking up crap but his vacuum also has this high pitched siren-esque wailing. sometimes it sounds like he is climbing up on top of his kitchen table and then jumping off. other times i swear i hear the sound of dumb bells constantly slamming against the floor. sometimes he's singing opera. sometimes he's just chuckling. my favorite is when he is engaged in his 3 hour arguments. I never hear the voice of another party. I am guessing he is either screaming into the phone or he just successfully drowns them out.
when i happen to have company that stays the night, he always wakes us up extremely early.. i don't know if he's lighting fireworks or rolling bowling balls from one end of his apartment to the other...wrestling six gorillas
if it weren't always terribly annoying it would be fun to try and imagine what he is doing up there.
neighbors. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 29th, 2008|08:13 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | absolutely rare and perfect cat power | ] |
he told me to do as he said
then he sold as if i was stuffed and dead
oh time, the great healer
HOW COULD I COMPARE ???
HOW COULD I HAVE DARED???
instead of writing papers i'm listening to old skool gangsta rap & putting down my 3rd rum & coke
what happened///you run backwards instead of walking forward.
i gotta clean my apartment the bug killers come on the first of every month
by the way, a car crashed into my building and caught on fire and all i saw was flames i thought i was gonna lose everything ///i blanked out, called my mom, she told me to grab my computer, my boots, my favorite scarf and my jacket from london, and get down the back staircase. i forgot i had a back staircase, i forgot staircases existed. i tried to find my car keys but i remembered they were at the mechanics. it startles me that my mind erases in the event of an emergency. its scary that i am not prepared and its scary i consider myself calm and calculated but i am not.
(iiii dont get it, but i like it
http://barackobamaisyournewbicycle.com/
BARACK OBAMA SKATED ALL THE WAY HERE FROM THE BEACH JUST TO SEE YOU ))) |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 15th, 2008|05:05 pm] |
zach condon, you live the life of my dreams
why oh why can't i be the guy that taps the tambourine |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 31st, 2008|10:47 pm] |
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make a decision and stick to it |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 29th, 2008|11:21 pm] |
i wish they'd start confirming some bands for the ALL POINTS WEST festival already...
it is driving me nuts
i have a realllllly good feeling thoughhhhh
let the phone ring and ring and ring and ringggggg |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 28th, 2008|10:30 pm] |
when i first moved, my mom sent me with all the nice glassware
"if they stay here, they'll just get broken"
when i saw the entire dishpan loaded with beautiful dishes and mugs go down i ran to catch them
i wasn't in time & cringed at the sound of breaking porcelain.
i guess you aren't on your own until you've broken a bucket load of dishes..
as i kneeled picking up sharp white shards, i thought of the broken pieces...all the remnants of these dishes were still there..(maybe i missed a few tiny pieces that flew under the stove and fridge (or a few are hiding themselves in the carpet waiting to pierce unsuspecting skin)) but they were no longer in tact and beyond repair.
i put them in a paper bag ready to go to the garbage and thought how i'd never see those dishes in the same way before...those dishes from my mom's house that my grandmother probably bought for us that i've seen hundreds of times. so simple but so symbolic after these past couple evenings.
i don't know who i am anymore.
i have no idea what i'm doing.
i navigated my little car around brooklyn and manhattan last night and today. i'm so proud, it used to be something i feared so much. i barely asked the guy i was seeing for directions, just let my insticts guide me. spending time in his company is so surreal because while he is so familiar he is a stranger to me at the same time. seeing all his possessions for the first time really made it clear that i am so uncertain who he is and i'm almost sure i will never know him. i'm not even sure that i will go back to that place again, my mind is messing with me.
i'm caught in two places and I'm not sure where to put both feet and I feel like its messing both these places up so my only hope is a new place.
entirely new..
i'm looking across that big ocean again..squniting my eyes and trying to place myself there. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 7th, 2008|10:06 pm] |
better to stay home
stay alone
instead of ruin things which could exist (if i were someone else)
i am a poor
& freezingly cold soul
said morrissey once to me when i was 11 years old
nothing made more sense then or now
i'm not even close |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 25th, 2007|02:51 am] |
i miss you zebee
you were always here
when you visit me in my dreams i try to keep you but i am not strong enough
it's back to the real world where you left me alone
please don't forget the freckles by her nose or the sounds she would make like she was talking
every day she is torn from me the memory of her fur and ears against my cheeks and her paws in my palms becomes slightly fainter but she is the foundation of my heart
it's hard to be alone
without your cat
give me things that don't get lost |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 28th, 2007|07:19 pm] |
i'm so detached these days from all the things which used to inspire me
it is why i just slip and slide through life lately
someone tell me all the books i should be reading
i need something to satisfy my eyes along the morning commute
( i know there are tons, but i always misplace my lists ) |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 15th, 2007|08:49 pm] |
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everything you love will leave you |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 13th, 2007|04:29 pm] |
feels like i've been waiting forever for this |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 20th, 2007|11:21 pm] |
i like shopping with josip because he talks me out of hot pink zebra striped shirts and synthetic suede ankle boots. WHO NEEDS SYNTHETIC?
i probably shouldn't be spending money since i don't really work anymore but..
i miss the old me.
i miss last year's me. or i miss any me that is not the me i am now.
how many times can i see morrissey before i say "okay, i've seen this man enough, no more morrissey?" INFINITY TIMES!!!
so how can i go back? |
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